Friendly Orders

Friendly Orders


[1-minute self development] You'd like to persuade someone to do something, but ordering them about will just get a 'no'. Try adding a 'softener'. This linguistic technique works simply by softening a demand.

If you were to say to your other half, ‘Make me a cup of tea’, they might well say, ‘Make it yourself and stop ordering me about.’ However, if you were to say, ‘Darling, I wonder if you might perhaps make me a cup of tea’, they might well make it for you, since you asked so nicely. ('Please' might help too!)

Of course, they still might tell you to make it yourself - but you've given yourself a better chance, and the thing is you still gave them exactly the same demand.

The same words are still in that sentence in the same arrangement, they’re just softened.

'Darling, I wonder if you might perhaps make me a cup of tea.

These softeners are especially important in emails

Use these especially in emails, where you can’t convey tone. Good softeners to use are:

  • I wonder
  • Maybe
  • Might
  • Perhaps

I wonder if you might start to practice these now.

Have a good week,


PS - This technique is taken from Persuade in a minute.

PPS - Hello to all new Gold Club members. Every member received a free best-selling ebook last weekend, just for being part of the team.

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Autumn Leaves

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Don't always trust GPS

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